Can, Should, and Must are Not the Same

Three news stories were shocking this week, all for the same reason.

The first was the story of Jesse James, erstwhile husband of Sandra Bullock, who put both his marriage and sanity in jeopardy by sleeping with a woman named Michelle “Bombshell” McGee (she also goes by the handle, “Evil C**t”):

Jesse James' other woman

Believe it or not, she actually looks good in this photo–she is not nearly as attractive elsewhere (be forewarned: many photos of her on the net are NSFW, nor for human consumption).

One cannot say that it was love that drove Jesse James into this woman’s arms–he barely knew her. Lust also seems implausible, for obvious reasons. Indeed, it appears to be a combination of opportunity coupled with an absolute lack of taste, common sense, and self-control. Sandra Bullock has to feel doubly betrayed–not only was her husband unfaithful, but he was unfaithful with a woman who doesn’t rate. I’m not sure how a person could get over this.

The second story is about a New Jersey housewife who wants to become the world’s fattest woman:

Donna Simpson has goals. Her biggest is to crack the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s heaviest woman.

At 600 pounds, Simpson spends her days consuming thousands of calories, eating more than professional athletes and Olympic champions during their peak training periods. A typical trip to the grocery store yields Simpson 20 to 30 pizzas, dozens of doughnuts, various meats, chips, candy, soft drinks and bread.

Simpson spends about $750 per week on food, not including the multiple Double Quarter Pounders with Cheese from McDonald’s she eats regularly.

“My favorite food is sushi,” Donna said. “I can sit and eat 70 big pieces of sushi in one go. I do love cakes and sweet things. Doughnuts are my favorite.”

Donna’s goal is to reach 1,000 pounds.

Apparently, her husband is OK with this because he has a fat fetish.

Finally, we have the US House of Representatives contemplating passing the health care reform bill via the Slaughter Solution. That is, they will have a vote on amendments to a bill they have not passed, and then “deem” the bill as being enacted if in fact they can pass the amendments. Surely, passing a bill without voting on it is unconstitutional. Yet, it would probably survive a court challenge simply because the Supreme Court will be reluctant to interfere with the workings of a separate branch of the government–especially when there are other remedies (i.e., elections) available to overturn the law. However, never mind the fact that they will probably be able to get away with it, assuming they can muster the votes. The real question is, Is it the right thing to do?

The common thread between these three stories is that people have confused what they can do with what they should do. Sure, we can all do a lot of things. However, some things should be beyond the pale–some things should not even be thought of as alternatives. A skanky-looking tattooed woman escapes from the circus and comes to your door, begging for you to have sex with her. In a normal world, a man tells her to hit the road and threatens to call the police. Your husband wants you to eat yourself to death. In a normal world, a woman tells her husband to stuff it. The President and the Speaker of the House want you to pass a bill without actually having a vote. In a normal world, no matter how much you might like the bill, this ploy is universally rejected as an act of tyranny, the Speaker of the House is fired, and the President is censured by Congress for even suggesting such a thing.

The confusion between can and should has become a sickness within American society. Consider the latest financial crisis: Businessmen ran their companies into the ground and destroyed the US economy, all the while getting salaries in the millions, simply because there was no law against it. Should there be a law against this kind of thing? No, there shouldn’t need to be a law against it: People should have a modicum of decency, self-restraint, and self-respect. They should know that simply because there isn’t a law against it, it does not mean that it is the right thing to do. Yet, it seems that in every area of American life, people are sifting through the rules, trying to find an excuse to do every stupid idea that strikes their fancy, acting like the idiots on MTV’s Jackass, simply because they can. However, morality was never meant to be reduced to merely what is legal, or to merely what we can get away with. Morality has never been defined by can’s and can’t's, but by should’s and shouldn’t's, and it used to be that people knew the difference. It seems that nowadays many people have forgotten how to behave. Animals live this way, not humans.

In short, America is throwing off all restraint. It’s sad. It’s pathetic. It’s scary. And American must come to its senses soon if it is to survive.

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