These are a selection of really crazy and funny analogies from the Annual English Teachers’ awards for best student metaphors/analogies found in actual student papers:
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
My father certainly kept that last American tradition alive, though I refuse to pass it down to my kids, despite being tempted at times.
More crazy analogies can be found here.
“… like maggots when you fry them in hot grease”???? Where is this kid from? I want to stay away from wherever it is.
He must be from the South. Sounds like he was cooking roadkill.
Jr. High composition classes… (sigh) Graded many a paper with similar flights of imagination. On of my favorites: “The men got so riled, they staged a mutely.” The English language is a beautiful thing, especially in the hands of amateurs.
Heh. I like that one.