It seems that nothing is really certain any more.
When I was young, I assumed that I would live forever, or for another fifty or sixty years at least, which is the same thing as forever to someone below the age of thirty. Now, I find that I am suddenly as old as my father when I remember him, and I realize that there are not that many days left.
I have now worked for my present company for longer than all but one other employee there. I have been there so long that I am almost part of the furniture. Yet, the company is giving strong signs that within the next year they plan on making me redundant. Their promises of promotion have now been forgotten, just as has every other promise my company ever made me. If they paid me what I am worth, they could not afford me, or so they say. And, since they may now be required by the head office to pay me what I am worth, they feel that they may have no choice but to let me go. “Put yourself in my shoes–I’m sure you’ll understand my position,” my boss said. Not really. You see, I have been in his shoes, and I made radically different choices than he is now making.
But what to do? What seemed certain is no longer sure. Things once counted on are no longer reliable. It used to be that my wife and I would answer a handful of job ads and get several bites. Now we answer multiple job ads and get no response at all. I wake up at night and my chest hurts. I worry about dying, about my kids, about my job, about so many things. And the only way I can get back to sleep is to let it go:
Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil.
James 4: 13-16.
The truth is, God could choose to take me tonight, and there is not a single thing that I can do about it. My job and future job prospects are also in His hands. I can make all the plans I want, and none of this may be worth a hill of beans unless God is in it.
So I just have to let it go, and say, “God, if you want to take me tonight, then there isn’t anything I can do about it. And apart from being faithful, I can’t do a thing about my job and finances. It is all up to you.”