Startling New Revelations From Palin E-mails

Boxes of Palin e-mailsIt is an event to match all other events in the history of the human race: e-mails from Sarah Palin’s administration as governor of Alaska have now been released to the public under the FOIA. Now, teams of journalists from the Washington Post and the New York Times have dropped their other important work to scour over these e-mails in an effort to find the smoking gun that will expose Palin as a shameless grifter, and the single bullet from that gun which can explain the Kennedy assassination, the Vietnam War, all of the bad music from the 1970s, the Kardashians, and Obama’s declining poll ratings.

With more than 24,000 e-mails at their disposal on print-outs weighing more than 275 pounds (and being the dead tree media, they are of course using hard copy rather than e-files), there is simply too much material to go through as they look for this elusive chimera, so the newspapers have enlisted the help of common citizens in an attempt to do what they themselves cannot do–nail Palin’s hide on the wall. Already, some 20,000 people have volunteered in this endeavor.

Even Michael Anti, the putative leader of the movement for freedom of the press in China has gotten into the act:

Mr Anti Palin TweetPresumably, everything is so peachy in the Middle Kingdom that Michael has nothing better to do than sift through the e-mails of a former governor of a US state–a private citizen who is not–and never has been–in control of any aspect of US foreign policy. But hey, Michael is a fellow at Harvard, so he has to rally round Obama and attack the outsider, because that is what you do when you are part of the team. Then again, even people in China need to know what a threat Palin represents.

And now, the revelations are pouring in. Read and weep, humanity, over the monstrosity of it all:

  • Palin thought that Obama once gave a great speech.
  • Palin sometimes seeks her husband’s advice.
  • Palin was opposed to using state helicopters to hunt wolves.
  • Palin is concerned about her image in the press.
  • Palin once bought a used tanning bed for her daughters.
  • Palin once asked someone to remind her to pick up her mom.
  • Palin was concerned that the state of Alaska might be playing favorites in the awarding of contracts.
  • Palin wanted the liquor in the Governor’s Mansion stored away in a safe place because she had teenagers coming through.

And these are just the revelations so far! Just think what we will discover when this citizen’s army goes through all of the e-mails.

Obviously, the nation–the world even–must be warned of the threat she poses to man and womankind.Palin e-mailsMeanwhile, as the media and the elite focus on non-essential trivia from several years back, conflict rages across the Middle East, America is involved in at least four wars, and our country is going bankrupt while its leader sharpens up his golf game.

God help us all.

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5 Responses to Startling New Revelations From Palin E-mails

  1. Pingback: Startling New Revelations From Palin E-mails (via The Tree of Mamre) | YOU DECIDE

  2. Vadim says:

    I think this e-mail scandal is great. It is giving Palin more support then anything she could have paid money for.

  3. The Lame Stream Media se Palin as the most dangerous threat to Obama’s reelection and are desperate to find something that will descredit her. They will take things out of context or they may have no way of knowing what the context was in the first place. Truly pathetic, John.

  4. Pingback: Sunday Morning Links: The Not So Bad Motor Scooter Edition | motorcitytimes.com

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